Life and Style
The Pros and Cons of Proposing on Valentine’s Day: To ask or not to ask, that is the question…
Ah… Valentine’s Day – it’s enough to stike terror into even the most romantic and amorous of boyfriends. Shall I propose on the 14th ? What if she says «Yes»? What if she says «No»? What if some other guy in the same restaurant as us proposes in a more romantic, grandious and celebrity-inspired way than I do? Before you think that this is a no-win situation, let’s weigh up the pros and cons of starting off an engagement with a Valentine’s Day proposal.
By the way, 91 % of marriage proposals are made by men and this article is written with them in the « lead role » - i.e. as the ones doing the proposing. For those of you brave women who are the ones doing the asking: you’re a woman – you don’t need as much advice on romantic matters as men do!
Let’s start with the up-side:
Great for when your memory starts failing
Some years from now you (on a fairly regular basis, I might add) you will be asked to give a detailed account of the day you proposed. Men don’t store emotional memories like women do, and this will give you a little head start – at least you’ll get the date right!
At least she won’t choke on her food
On Your Knees
The romantic mood is already set - i.e. you are not catching her off guard, which can be a good thing if you think the question might come as a bit of a surprise – as in: «Did you pick up the dry cleaning, and by the way will you marry me?»
She just might be expecting it
She might not admit it, but maybe she is expecting it. Let’s face it, if you were going to do it soon anyway, why let her down? If the idea is to wait until the week after, just so that she can call up her friends on the morning of the 15th to say in a hushed voice: «No, he didn’t, I can’t talk now»… then you might as well suck it up and propose on the big day.
The cons, as I see them are:
Everybody does it
OK, so not everybody does it – about 10 % of wedding proposals happen on Valentine’s Day. Obviously you won’t get the prize for originality here, mate.
You’d have to go out of your way to make it special
In order to avoid a situation whereby the bloke at the table next to you goes down on one knee ONE MINUTE right before you were about to, or his girlfriend semi-chokes on a diamond ring from her champagne flute right before you pop the question to your girlfriend– be aware that getting down on one knee in a crowded restaurant full of people will present certain timing challenges. Best to be save it for a romantic moment when you are alone, after dinner…
I don’t know what to say!
Remember what Plato said : «At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.» How you say it will be as important as what you say. Trust your heart, listen to your inner voice, and when all else fails, try the internet.
If you are not ready
The problem with all the Valentine’s Day Hallmark-type tide is always a danger of mistaking your real apprehension about tying the knot to your girlfriend with normal, everyday «I’m about to do something of monumentous importance» jitters. Remember, once all of the hoopla fades, the Valentine’s Day decorations are taken down from jewellery, flower (and card) shops, reality will strike (sorry!) You want to make sure that you proposed for all the right reasons, with no pressure.
And… if you are…
One of the best part about being a Wedding Planner is meeting couples about to get married. Their enthusiasm is genuine, their mood infectious and their spirits high. Surely - if someone found a way to bottle the joie-de-vivre of newly-engaged they would make a fortune.
So if you are about to make the leap, entering the world of wedding planners, table plans and full-scale negotiations about who should be invited to your wedding, then I have nothing left to say but to wish you all the best. I hope she says «Yes!», starts to cry (in a good way) and does that dancy-jittery-bug thing that only women know how to do.
Remember, in the words of Tenneyson: «Love is the only gold.»
Grisel Damgaard and her husband Frank run Monte-Carlo Weddings, the premier Wedding Planning company on the French Riviera. Couples around the world seek their services for bespoke, luxurious weddings in (probably) one of most magical places on earth.